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» لـــحـــظـة لــقــــــاء
الإثنين 10 ديسمبر 2012, 9:02 pm من طرف نانا محمد

» ليـــــــــــــــــــه كـــــــل النـــاس ظلمــــــــــانى
الإثنين 03 ديسمبر 2012, 9:01 pm من طرف نانا محمد

» أشهد يا بيتنا و سجل دمعتى
الأحد 25 نوفمبر 2012, 3:05 am من طرف نانا محمد

» كلوي كارداشيان تجلس على حضن سايمون كويل:"هل انتَ متحمس؟"
الخميس 22 نوفمبر 2012, 6:26 pm من طرف شاعر

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الخميس 22 نوفمبر 2012, 6:17 pm من طرف شاعر

»  ﻓـﻲ ﺍﻟـﺤُــﺐ ، ﻳُـﻠــﻐـﻰ ﺍﻟـﻤـﻨـﻄـﻖ
الخميس 22 نوفمبر 2012, 6:06 pm من طرف شاعر

» كلمات اغنية امال ماهر "رايح بيا فين " 2012
الخميس 22 نوفمبر 2012, 7:20 am من طرف شاعر

» « حبر العيون » راشد الماجد
الخميس 22 نوفمبر 2012, 7:18 am من طرف شاعر

»  الطيور المهاجرة.
الثلاثاء 20 نوفمبر 2012, 11:52 am من طرف الزهراء

المتواجدون الآن ؟
ككل هناك 1 عُضو حالياً في هذا المنتدى :: 0 عضو مُسجل, 0 عُضو مُختفي و 1 زائر

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أكبر عدد للأعضاء المتواجدين في هذا المنتدى في نفس الوقت كان 32 بتاريخ السبت 04 أغسطس 2012, 8:13 pm
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The Test......

استعرض الموضوع السابق استعرض الموضوع التالي اذهب الى الأسفل

The Test......

مُساهمة من طرف شاعر في السبت 29 سبتمبر 2012, 7:45 am

“All right, everyone, the test is about to begin.”

I was sitting in a nondescript desk that was swimming in an ichthyologic
school of nondescript desks. The administrator was moving through us,
pausing occasionally to hand out a paper or rap a student sharply on the
head for moving ahead without listening to instructions; other than
this she was silent and stalwart. A stone face on Easter Island emoted
more than she did.

In truth, I wasn’t really listening myself. I was too busy thinking of
problems that wouldn’t appear on the test. My girlfriend, Stacy, kept
springing to mind. She was a cheerleader; that I had no problem with.
The problem was her late-night practices, and how she would return
sweaty and disheveled with each long night. I told myself that I was
crazy, that she would never do what I was suspecting.

“…test will consist of…”

It wasn’t rational of me to think this way. Or was it? I wasn’t sure.
Most likely, this was pre-test jitters and a couple of multiple-choice
questions would set me straight; get me thinking on the logical plane
again. The admin passed out the test, mouthing something about stopping
when she said to. Or maybe she spoke it. Once again, I wasn’t sure.

I wasn’t sure about a lot of things lately.

I snapped out of my reverie/pensive thinking as the spidery lady in the
purple-and-red muumuu snapped, “You may begin,” succinctly. I brushed
the sweat from my brows, blinked three times, ran a hand through my
hair, tapped my eraser twice on the desk, once on each side of the test
booklet, tapped my right foot twice and my left foot once, and slowly
opened up my test booklet. It was my good-luck ritual. I don’t know why,
but for some reason I had developed an irrevocable belief that it would
help me in some small way.

I looked at the questions.




Question 1


Stacy, I love you : What? :: You said we needed to talk? : ____

a)
It’s going good, sweetie.
b)
Yeah. Greg, there’s someone else.
c)
Good, now that you’re here.
d)
Hey, Greg. It’s going okay. Want to go get ice cream?


I choked on my own saliva. It said Stacy? What—what kind of sick joke is
this? I immediately dismissed it as pre-test jitters (again), and
circled letter B. Then I moved on quickly, almost frenziedly, to the
next question.

This was only what I had expected. I mean, what did I want to think?
Stacy’s doubtful fidelity had always been an issue with me. I had never
questioned that she was a cheerleader; it was her life and she could do
with it what she wanted. It just seemed that, time in and time out,
cheerleading seemed to take precedence over me. This I was not cool
with. I figured that, as her boyfriend, I would move up her hypothetical
“To-Do List”. That sounds bad. What kind of test was this? I promised
myself that I would endure one more question before asking the admin if I
was on Punk’d or Candid Camera or something of the sort. I hastily
circled B and quickly ran through my pre-test ritual again before I
turned the page to the third question.




Question 3


Define marvelous.

a)
superb
b)
the word Stacy says when Mark Donaghy kisses her neck
c)
expected
d)
paltry


I saved myself the trouble of choking on my spit again and coughed out
of surprise before any liquid could ooze its way down the wrong
windpipe. I coughed partially because every answer had been B, but more
importantly because this test was highlighting my girlfriend’s
infidelity and it was my ticket into college. And I was failing.

I raised my hand indignantly, stabbing the air with my open palm. The
muumuu-wearing-a-lady-underneath came stomping over, sighing like it was
the end of the world. Which, technically, it was: The world of me and
Stacy was going to implode, should this line of questioning continue as
such.

“Yes, what is it?” she snapped. I gesticulated wildly to the questions
in front of me detailing my girlfriend’s actions. She looked at them,
and then looked back. “Well? Is there a problem?” I looked down at the
test questions.

The word Stacy appeared in none of them, nor did the word neck, nor did
the words unlimited or supply or of or Diet or Coke, which, when strung
together, form a phrase that is always lovely to hear; however, now was
not the time to think about luscious beverages that Stacy and I drank
two-liter bottles of at parties on dares.

I sighed and muttered that no, nothing was wrong. The female skeleton
dressed in drapery muttered something about “bubble head” and swept back
pompously to her desk.

Wipe. Blink. Blink. Blink. Slide. Whap. Tap. Thump. Thump. Whomp.

The usual.

Stare at the next question.

Also the usual.

Read the question.

That was when it stopped being normal. Or resumed its normalcy, if this
test was the gold standard of normal. Who was I to judge?




Question 4


Revise the bracketed section of the following sentence: The cheerleader
whispered that Greg [never needed to know] about her and Mark.



a)
was completely oblivious
b)
knew completely and was furious
c)
didn’t have a clue
d)
No revision needed.


Finally, an answer other than B. I circled D.

This pattern continued on through the English section.

Wipe.
b)
the spot where we first got ice cream

Blink.
a)
on the lips
Blink.
c)
possibly because she’s bored
Blink.
d)
the captain of the football team
Slide.
e)
is cheating with your girlfriend
Whap.
b)
and you can’t do anything
Tap.
a)
to stop it from happening
Thump.
b)
under the bleachers after practice
Thump.
d) after school in the locker room
Whomp.
c)
every day you’re not there.
Wipeblinkblinkblinkslidewhaptapthumpthumpwhomp.

I had finally survived the English gauntlet. The wave of relief that
washed over me was quickly replaced by terror at the math portion and
what it would bring.

Math. It was never my strong suit. English, obviously, was more my
subject of choice, though at that moment I could think of no worse
subject. Math was the curse of my GPA; it was the reason that I wrote.
In my opinion, math was the ultimate blasphemy against the sacred temple
of Writing. Math. The word filled me with contempt. Now, however, there
was no escaping it. I closed my eyes and broke the seal on the
right-hand side of the page. The first question greeted me almost
cheerily.


Question 1


If a cone has a circular base with radius r and the height h is 4/3 the
length of the radius, how much will the cone hold in volume?

a)
4/3πr²
b)
Not enough to save your relationship with Stacy
c)
3/4πr²
d)
4/3 ∙ 2πr


The answer, like it was most of the time, was B.




Question 2


If x = 3/4 y² + 14z, what does x/3 equal in terms of v, if v = 3/8 y² + 7z?

a)
3v/2
b)
x = v(ery likely your relationship is over)
c)
v/6
d)
Answer not given




Once again, it was B.

I sighed once and tried to concentrate, knowing that my relationship was
through, it was done, whether this stupid test was right or not.
Whether or not my fears were founded, it was worth it to escape this
torture of the mind that occurred every day Stacy was gone.

It was worth it to pass this test and get to college.

Leave all this behind.

Leave her behind.

Almost imperceptibly, I heard a bird whistling from beyond the window.

Whap. Tap. Whomp.
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